I have always been told that it is pointless to vent out emotions at people, and sometimes I feel that it is rather true.
The world we live in today has no time for anything. Just like in the movies, it seems as though everything has been put on fast forward and days are zooming by, irrespective of whether one is comfortable with it.
Coming to cinema, despite Prof. Siddhartha’s heavily engaging lectures on the medium, I have a different opinion of them altogether. Heavily deceptive is the word I would choose to describe it. I took this step in life thinking it would be fun. Living the bachelorette life, music and drinks, friends, mobility and the works. Three months down the line and the colour on my rose-tinted glasses seem to be fading.
There is a lot of time alone, a lot of hard core learning, a lot of time to reminisce and to stare into nothingness. Feelings of emptiness overcomes almost any other feeling which I might feel on a daily basis. It’s not that there have not been good times, laughs or moments I might cherish – just that they do not seem to be enough at times.
I have heard a lot of stories of people, their lives, their issues and things which make them vulnerable. I know I am not the only one with problems. It is much more clear how much more of a selfish world we live in. The level of pretence people put with, just not to be alone. It’s not that I don’t indulge in the same, but I seem to have reached the precipice. Any more of this and I might fling myself off the edge of the cliff I have been eyeing.
I am in a place where my mind is never at rest. And not in a good way. Melancholy has become a constant state of mind. In the midst of all this, I have discovered a new type of music, and it is now my only friend. I am going to be making trips to the doctor on my own, and people have begun to think that I am a bore.
Yes, troubled times.